soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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