woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
