I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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