Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
