You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
