i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
