white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
nutella sex= disaster
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
