how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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