she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
