Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
