hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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