I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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