when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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