Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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