Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
