friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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