she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
