we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
