so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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