Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
