Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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