She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
