I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
