Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
