Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
