nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
God, I missed his penis.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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