ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I deserve this hangover.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
