I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
