So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
