My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
