Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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