She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
