i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
