dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
