What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
