smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
