I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
