Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
