How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
