Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
