So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
