if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
