Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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