Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
