I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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