If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
