I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
