I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
