well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
