this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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