I can tuck mytits in my pants
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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