i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
