he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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