yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
