wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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